Last night I reached for my liquid Viagra and accidentally swigged from a bottle of Liquid Paper. I woke up this morning with a huge correction.
My girlfriend said she was leaving me due to my obsession with the 60's group The Monkees. I thought she was joking ........ And then I saw her face......
My budgie broke his leg today so I made him a little splint out of a couple of Beehive matches. His little face lit up when he tried to walk...unfortunately, I had forgotten to remove the sandpaper from the bottom of his cage.
I got sacked last night from the Salvation Army soup kitchen, the ungrateful bastards. All I said was, 'Hurry up for Christ's sake .......... Some of us have got homes to go to!'
Got myself a new Jack Russell puppy, he's mainly black and brown with a small white patch, so I've named him England...
If its ADULT in nature please say so in the title.
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